I know it’s not really “blank,” but I’m sure you get the gist. No, I wasn’t too lazy to try and figure out a title (I’m being lazy with style). Instead, I wanted to give you, the reader, the opportunity to title this whatever you want.

No, the title won’t literally change, but it’s a way of letting your interpretation flow.

I’ll give you a disclaimer- some of the stuff in here might seem a little random, but it’s on purpose. I intentionally didn’t have a structure for this because I just wanted to hop on whatever train of thought ran on the tracks of my mind (I know I sound lazy. But with style). The train doesn’t have a conductor, but I promise you’ll be safe (hopefully).

You thought you were getting a subtitle? You shan’t.

My greatest goal this semester was to look at myself and tell the truth: that I truly did my best in classes.

Oh, news flash: the semester is finally ending. To the several individuals who will be crossing the stage, I give my congratulatory remarks.

Anyway, back to the action.

One’s best is dependent on the person, so please don’t ask me for a measuring chart of sorts. I will point you to the nearest reflective object and tell you to simply look at your reflection. Is it you? Or is it someone you don’t know?

It’s okay if the joke passes over you. You can take it deep. Or, if you’ve watched Mulan, you might laugh.

Since the beginning of the second semester, every day that I looked in the mirror, I felt a sort of disappointment for where I was in my life and my academics, feeling as though where I wanted to be was simply too far away for me to reach. The thought of even attaining a good grade at the beginning of the semester weighed me down (talk about beating myself up before I even started).

Unfortunately, there wasn’t an awe-inspiring moment that got me to move. I simply remembered why I was here. The supposed “best” that I told myself I performed wasn’t my best at all. I was gaslighting myself about giving my all into my work for almost 3 semesters, with, of course, nothing to show for it (I was still riding on the “It worked in high school” wave). Crazy huh? I expected to reap rewards that I hadn’t even sown the seeds for.

Don’t worry; I can promise you that I am on the road to becoming a changed college student (and individual). I have to knock some sense into myself every now and then to take each day a step at a time and focus on the next right decision to make. It’s made things easier for me that way, and I’m seeing the results that tell of my actions.

I don’t want to bore you, so I’ll leave this proverb that my dad always tells me:

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.”

Take that how you see fit.

It’s your title, after all.